1 Corinthians 13

1 Corinthians 13

Love is Patient; Love is Kind; It does not envy;

It does not boast; It is not proud.

It does not dishonor others; It is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered; It keeps NO records of wrongs;

Love does not delight in Evil but rejoices with the Truth.

It always Protects, Always Trusts, Always Hopes,

Always Perseveres.

Evolution of Women & Family

Tutu A was a child born in the mid-1950’s, an era renamed as the “Generation of the Joneses”, or aptly, “keeping up with the Joneses”.  I watched in horror how folks my age “jonz’d” for designer clothing, designer this & that became a competition truthfully I just observed, chuckled, and stuck with my “traditional, classic” business looks and whatever “feminine” somewhat trendy daytime wear.  Women graduating high school, like her mother before her, still aspired for marriage and family as soon as possible with a work life second.

The sexual revolution had already begun before Tutu A came of age in the early 70’s, she enjoyed “the Flower Power” message of Woodstock, not knowing fully the “angst” of the older teenagers, young adults who turned on and tuned out.  My generation was wishful dreamers who found solace in songs of freedom by Joan Baez; warm, gentle lyrics of James Taylor, John Lennon’s “Imagine”, and simple message songs like Carole King’s like “You’ve Got A Friend”.  Many were still “hopeless romantics”, not understanding what the word “hopeless” could really mean.  Karen Carpenter sang “We’ve Only Just Begun” the year Tutu A graduated, not knowing the crippling illness underneath Karen’s love songs.

Tutu A experienced all genres of music from Motown to Disco, Revel’s Bolero (fantastically played out in Bo Derek’s movie “10”) to The Who’s TOMMY & most classical pieces, anything live.  Her mother introduced her to music and taught her to listen to the beauty is most any music.  But there is a ying & yang effect for all things….ALL THINGS.  

Steven Stills of Crosby, Stills & Nash created some deeply meaningful “poetry” that saturated into this era’s music.  Who does not think of a little Barry White music now & again???….okay, I get it, no one remembers Barry White.  Look it up and listen.  During the mid-1980’s to ‘90’s harmony bands returned, acapella, and that seems to be the beginning of what blends we hear in music today.

Is Madonna still relevant?  She was a woman with whom many found inspiration, maybe not so much any longer.  “Ray of Light” was her last phenom-type hit.  It was inspirational.  No longer “thirsty” as the young ones say these days.  She has been “adulting” (yes that is now a word) way to long to get into those depths of her soul for profound music.  

Music aside, women have more history that reveals strong women to watch and learn.  A true Connection through Communication is what calms the human heart.  Through literature to television, the works of Shakespeare, the War of the Roses (not excluding the updated version with Michael Douglas & Kathleen Turner, who?).  Again, Tutu A prays the words from strong women in history: Catherine of Aragon, King Henry VIII’s first wife to Jacqueline Kennedy, wife of President John F. Kennedy to Ivana Trump, President Donald J. Trump’s eldest daughter & Meghan McCain, daughter of Senator John McCain.  We have much to learn from them. How much has really changed?

Evolution of Women & Family II

We all seem to gravitate toward our stated generation, added with our family & social surroundings, along with that very special individual thing we call “choice”, our “magical direction”, “free will” destined to all humans through eternal spirit.  In addition,  technological advancements furthered to define folks merging into adulthood, where girls become women, boys become men and if all goes the way God or some higher power pre-destined, that folks find a way to couple….Love finds a way, at least that is how the past 60 years seem to have unfolded.

When Saturday morning television was invented, well, parents found a new way to occupy a young one, giving that time back, functionally in ways women would learn the definition of multi-tasking.  Oh my when washers & dryers became the norm, time was given, taken away causing women to actually “think about her own pursuits”, beyond that of a wife & mother.  Rock & Roll, Walks on the Moon, the Internet, of course invented by Al Gore, ex-VP of USA, truly he did try to take credit for that one, LOL

The United States of America is about to celebrate it’s 100 anniversary for Women & Blacks to be given the right to vote.  Those words seem to not seem to mean much, nor do I think many women actually are aware of this very “new” right we have earned in the big scheme of 2017 years of Life.

Evolution of Women and Family III

History repeats and so do our media stories, with a rare story that has yet to be told.  I learned to educate and absorb as much history in order to form a more informed opinion.  Tutu A is a student of a woman’s life, going back as far the end of the War of the Roses 1455-1487 through one of the biggest change in Faith & Religion post King Henry VIII (1509-1547) , the British reigns of Queen Mary, Queen Elizabeth, to Queen Victoria, referencing Hawaii’s very own Queen Liliuokalani (1838-1917) and during the mid 1800’s horrific “pograms*” were sweeping country after country. (* side explanation)  

Tutu A’s family was about to make a decision that would bring about her Life, so it seems appropriate to start at “my” beginning and see what parallels, enlightenment gained, and how these women whose first name began with the letter “A” experienced.  Of course it would be the first letter, the first of those to come.  The OG, the original, sort of.  Ancestry.com can make a person’s brain frazzle when peering into a see of family with the same name all across the board.  In Tutu A’s family, this “A” daughter was given the name from her grandmother and Tutu A validated this phenomenon going back 300 years.  

The meaning of Tutu A’s first name is noble.  How fitting.

What was the catalyst of women’s evolution?  Oft times, it is a person’s spiritual sense of survival.  During these European Pograms, with the object of annihilation of a race, created folks who deeply felt the need to survive.  Tutu A’s relative received a letter of introduction, most likely through a German synagogue or other spiritual entity to find a “mail order bride”.  During this time, the 1850’s women did not have independent choice.  Their mother or father had control over the disposition of a daughter into the world.  Boys were trained to become providers and women to care for the hearth and home, giving her husband many fine, healthy children, especially after watching the murderous genocide from their homeland.

During the time of 1850 to the 1950’s when Tutu A was born, when Tutu A’s grandmother was born & raised, the role of women had not significantly changed.  Yes, women were more widely becoming educated, but women continued to marry young and begin to have children.  However, as technology evolved so did the family unit.   Simply put, the more options create a culture of folks “wanting more & more”, obsessed much?

One theme prevalent throughout these centuries was that women did a great deal of “praying”.  The first “A” that hit the shores of the United States was a praying woman.  It was just as much a part of the job description for a woman, as learning other “womanly” responsibilities, childbirth notwithstanding.

Through the media available to Tutu A during her lifetime provides an unique perspective of how women have evolved, retracted, grown to great heights and how we can single handedly sabotage close to a lifetime’s work.  It happens, just like a movie, novel or television program, but messier.  All media glorifies whatever aspect of agenda the writer, director and producers choose.

Tutu A will post under this section whenever something of Women’s Evolution comes to light through the news, internet or television programming.  Life taught me that when a problem is presented, try to find a solution.  If you have any positive, enlightening comments or links to Women & Family Evolution, please feel free to forward.

Great Words

Funny thing about this journal of sorts is I heard from my son-in-law that Patrick Stewart has some TV show called BLUNT TALK, which may be similar to this journal any many of my others….hee teedle.  Now that is a great word.  My mom had a knack for using an ordinary word like “Yodels” as a greeting.  She those who never heard of the guy).  And in Tim Gunn’s very words (Project Runway):


Carry On….


Great Words:  The thing about “words” are there are SOOOO many great ones.  Every one of us has our own, but perhaps some of these might resonate with a few.  Language is how we communicate & get through Life.  I am profoundly struck how many folks abuse certain words.  Must read on to see where listed.  Below are the author’s list of Great words, either original, again hahaha, tee heedless, or quoted.  The author tells many stories where many of the below became “her lexicon”.


To many, we sit on the edge of our seats, to hear our parents words, but to others we listen to Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Godparents, sometimes Teachers/Faith Individuals.  The author listens to ALL, at times to her chagrin, overdosing on lexicon.  Authors influences for words, language came from Simon & Garfunkel, James Taylor, Carole King, Albert Einstein, Superman, Oprah, Robin Williams, J. K. Rowling, Andy Rooney & Andy Cohen to Gene Roddenberry….Joss Whedon.  Author swoons when a new Whedon production comes to fruition.  Miss the days of Firefly, like many.  I dare any reader to find a current AWESOME syfy, fantasy show without a graduate writer, actor or producer from one of Whedon’s shows.




Thank You


Hemingway said:  

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man,

True nobility is being superior to your former self”


Culture:  Art, Ballet, Theatre, Literature

Sub-Culture:  Hippies, Feminism, Sisterhood, Ohana


OK, as a young lady of 13 yrs, the author discovered Hawaii.  There are only 13 letters in the Hawaiian vocabulary.  For a girl raised in the Mid-West pronouncing the vowels makes brain go wonky…in a good way.     Soooooo, the longer the exposure to paradise is amazing, and still the “sanctuary” found almost 50 yrs ago.  But Tutu A believes her spirit was born in Hawaii and it appears through modern technology, this is a truth.


Ohana:  Means “family” in Hawaiian, noun.  Also word used to describe a cottage or small “mother-in-law” dwelling on a property, adjective to describe a noun.  


Tutu:  Means Grandmother in the Hawaiian Islands.  Not usual meaning of a girl/boy in a ballet outfit.  NO.  Tutu is a word created by the Polynesians who landed in Hawaii, a melting pot of yummy goodness


Tutu Kane:  Grandfather


Nui:  Great:  author’s mother-in-law is a Tutu Nui having been blessed with 3 lovely great-grand-daughters.  Or add “Nui” to most any word is always fun.  


Aloha:  Pronounced AH-loooooooooooooooow-HA, this word has several meanings.  I was taught in the 60’s a wee bit about Aloha, which is a welcome, hello & goodbye.  Over the past 2 decades, she learned the true Spiritual meaning, something I believe is what her ohana from Hawaii always wrote in every card or note to me.


Must Dance….


Bhashert:  Yiddish for everything is meant to be?


Mensche:  A good person


Perclempt:  Overwhelmed


Pu’unene:  Pronounced with great diaphragmatic force: Poo oo Nay Nay


Pamoi:  Means really bad.  Fabulous word made up by a family member when he was a child, bless his heart.


Mazel Tov:  Congratulations, but it just sounds & feels tingly on the tongue & lips


Schplikus:  (Yiddish) Old saying “you have ants in your pants”.  That is it.  LOL.  LOL  Many kids are diagnosed with ADHD or some other “condition” for growing pains & adults just get arthritis so I witness the Schplikus happening to myself, a condition called Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS).  Some discomfort is normal & must be endured, plain & simple.  Discomfort usually is a sign of a warning, many times, but not all Schplikus requires “a pill” or “treatment”.  


PONO:  Means “be right, do right” in Hawaiian.  Like respectful.  Author likes “P” words.  Tee hee.


P words:  Peace, Pineapple, Party, Please, Purple, Prince (the musical genius RIP), and Tutu A once had a Potluck P Party where all dishes brought to the Potluck started with the letter “P”.  Add a pool and who could have a boring time?


Any Hispanic word that allows the speaker to roll his/her “R’s” with magnificent gusto.


Ole’, Viva, Bravo


Thank You, Gratitude, Mahalo, Muchas Gracias, Gracie, any word that expresses “Thanksgiving”


LOVE:  Any kind, especially “Spiritual”, Spiritual Love is Freedom to Love Thoroughly, Warts & All


What Queen Victoria said about her dog, Dash, on his tombstone:


“His attachment was without selfishness.

His playfulness without malice.

His fidelity without deceit.


If You would be loved and die regretted.  

Profit by the example of Dash.”


Mary Poppins word:  Supercalifragilisticexpedaladocious – worth repeating


On the “the TUDORs” television series:  Queen Katherine of Aragon, Henry VIII first wife upon learning of his marriage to Lady Anne Boleyn & loss of ever seeing her daughter, Mary, ever again:


“If I had to choose between extreme happiness & extreme sorrow, I would always choose sorrow because for when You are happy you forget about spiritual things, you forget about God, but in your sorrow HE is always with You.”


Also from the same series:

Lord Brandon (King Henry VIII bestie) (who also seemingly was successful for NOT discussing politics or religion), played by Superman’s Henry Cavill, nummy, said, when the future Kind Edward’s Uncle Edward Seymour asked if Lord Brandon would move against him.


“The French peasants have a saying, it goes:  Praise the God of All, drink the wine, and let the World be the World”.  (Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, interestingly creepy with some forebearing of the future of the PC “politically correct” world.)


Lucy, I’m home…


Pussy:  (Cover Your Eyes)  Only said the way ROBIN WILLIAMS said it on THE ACTOR’S STUDIO TV show.


Robin Williams was quoted:  (somewhat paraphrased)  In genius there is a spark of madness.  Please take time to chew on his words, swallow slowly, and hopefully come to the reason, we ALL should tap into that “spark of madness” in all of us.  We just need to find it.


Go see




Heeeeeeed:  As said by Mike Myers in SO, I MARRIED A MURDERER, as a Scottish Father yelling at his “large red-headed” son, becoming him to come.  Just makes a person laugh.




Making Amends




“Nostrils”:  As said by the fast order burger cook in BUFFY the VAMPIRE SLAYER episode when Buffy get a menial job.  Pronounced “naaaahssssstreeeels”.   The old lady who liked pies was the demon who was eating all the employees as they were stuffed with burgers delicious delight.




On Fire…as said by Tutu A’s son-in-law or Andy Cohen


Sir John Guilgood, movie ARTHUR, when Arthur tells him he is going to take a bath:

“I’ll alert the media”.


Same movie:

When Arthur & Sir John are waiting to see his father in his office finding no one smiling & inquiring why no smiles, Guilgood responds:

“They smile at lunch time, now sit up, we will go for ice cream later”.

When Arthur’s grandmother invites him for lunch & to discuss his inheritance with Liza Minelli waiting to hear the news:

“No thank You, Yes, to the money, but, I’d rather have a tunafish sandwich.”


I love You more than the Sun & the Moon, the Stars in the Sky & the

Seas & the Oceans wide.  (Author, Adele’s words in a sentence to define Unconditional Love)


You are my friend & I love You warts & all…..as said to author is early 1990’s by a very dear friend.  


Words of Mother, Vanozza Borgia to her son in THE BORGIAS TV series,

“Is there a cure for love?  

No, it can be endured, embraced & suffered.”


When the same question was asked of Tutu A’s hubby?  He thinks deeply, then proclaims:  “No, there should not be a cure” with the smallest smiling tear appearing in the corner of his eyes, barely visable.


Tutu A says:  Love is all there is…all that matters, ever, but above that is God, who give us the life to love & teaches us unconditional love.  Love was something women did not always have with either marriage or sex before the sexual revolution of the 1960’s.  



The bitterness of poor quality lingers long after the sweetness of low price!!


Quality has no fear of time!


CANARD:   OMGoodness, have you heard this one lately?  Chris Wallace uses it frequently and just discovered it means:  an unfounded rumor or story….a lie, right?   A lie is a lie, just like a rose by any other name???  Jiminy Christmas!  Geezaloo!  To the folks of my generation, a “canard” was a duck, perhaps a “French” version of the duck in cuisine, but used instead of the word a lie?


On International Day of the Girl 2015, Tutu A writes:


The next step is equality in our relationships…personal relationships with men.  I get typical roles, like I prefer hubby to take out the trash but I will get on my hands & knees, well butt since knees are metal, ha ha true, and scrub the baseboards or in places usually missed…SOOOO ladies, as a pioneering bra burner, work diligently, with honest dialog with the men in your life from the beginning (including family), have deep faith in something other than your sweet self, and again, be diligent…never give up on yourself, your family.  




Again with the Tudors TV series:


King Henry’s sister’s last words before her death as her husband is off with another woman, Henry’s sister exclaims about the man she loved most dearly….


“Softly love and to love softly.     Do you want a sycamore branch by the creaking gate while my heart hurries afterwards through the path of wheat along the briar to that stone under which I lie?”


(The above words were exclaimed right before her death…Tutu knows she will gently go some time…we never know when.  Tutu A prays we all remember this fact, that life is fleeting, really, and to always remember those we love at all times, as has been Tutu A’s life goal.)


NOT sure how these words will be perceived, but I know many folks “think” about how they can improve a relationship.  I surely have always been a student in the belief “life” is an education & why the hell NOT do everything in one’s power to do just that.  While perusing the TV guide, I came across a show entitled:  Fix My Mother.  During the visit episode the mother-daughter teams express “why they are seeking help” & the exercise to help identify the relationship issues found them in the infamous Los Angeles THE BASEMENT…A LIVE ESCAPE ROOM EXPERIENCE & assist the Life Coach to see how their relationships break down in extreme stress situations.  The place is meant to frighten & sometimes folks need a good scare in which to show someone they are truly on the brink of perhaps never finding fulfillment in their relationship.


Upon entering THE BASEMENT the following words were found on a wall.  


I never knew much about people until I just took one apart just to see how it worked.


The exercise called for the ladies to dissect a body, but metaphorically has quite the impact.


If ever in Los Angeles in need of an exercise in trust…..try it & perhaps think about how you would deal & perhaps believe in the things you know, talk about the things you don’t.


Christmas Discussion from Texas Restaurant Owner, 2015:  (a posted notice at restaurant)


THIS store is Politically Incorrect,


Merry Christmas

God Bless America

We salute our Flag & give thanks to our Troops, Police Officers & Fire Fighters

If this offends You, You are welcome to LEAVE

In God We Trust

LBK:  Lies, Bribes & Kickbacks said by Jesse Watters of Fox News as commentary toward Obamacare


HOMS, Syria 2011 was a democracy, 3rd largest city of the country & capitol of a revolution, once a place named a GREAT word:  “home”.  It was a place to live many thought would remain…, at least a million thought so, 1 million people is a pretty large number when one thinks upon it…

Today (2/4/16)  Fox news reports how “HOMS, Syria”, pronounced “home”, is a ghost town of devastation war destroyed.  The call or last words recorded by someone at the BBC?  “The rest of the world has failed us”.    So do the Rand Paul’s of this country feel righteous on a day like today?


So my Ohana?  Will you view the country folks fought dearly hard to give You freedom as a compassionate one that goes to help those in need or does the country turn a blind eye?  The out of sight, out of mind concept will become the way perhaps you see life, gosh I hope not.  I hope not.


Not so great words:


OJ Simpson – mixed bag.  “The Juice”.  Talent becomes art on the football field & he thinks of himself as “fluid”, can’t be touched by the opposition on the field becomes hardwired in his mind.  Many, including this writer, watched this person rise & fall.    Raised in WI with Vince Lombardi, whose football work ethic was bar none & the Packers created a lifelong Cheesehead who relocated back to birth state of CA to end up in Maui, Hawaii.


Well, OJ was both good & probably one of the worst humans to walk the planet.  I prayed & pray for those 2 innocent children.  Where is Justice?  Justice is supposed to be a “good word”.  Having witnessed the verdict of “not guilty” personally as I stood in a predominantly black doctor’s office performing my job, we all were worried another race riot would break out.  He walked.  


Alrighty then, recent viewing of a TV mini-series, of course including our every so “relevant” (vomit please”) Kardashians, about the “Trial of the Century”…perhaps crime of the century…no many others



So words cost money in the media business.  Each word said is paid for…quite the concept.  So the Trial of the Century begins January 1994 & ends June 1996 with a gazzillions words uttered.  The cost of the trial (every word) cost us tax paying citizens a whooping $8.9 million for 1000 hours of airtime.  At the same time, coincidentally, the numbers show further a loss of national productivity from people following the trial to the tune of another staggering figure of $40 billion.  TV watching!  Loss of productivity in the country….


How many hrs are devoted to the world of everything Kardashian?  Seriously?  I don’t want our ohana to have to pay $8.9 billion on another crazy taxpayer paid trial.  


What is the solution?  Hmmm, that may take some snooze, swim, cloud time to lay out a decent idea.  I was taught & taught all I mentored, worked with…if you have a problem you wish to bring me, bring me at least one solution in order to work it out…so the person coming to me could teach himself through conversation.  Tangently:  I think today’s technology & basic work principles make it difficult for folks to have that important process…of figuring things out for themselves!  


So the solution?  I guess one might defer back to the words Brandon from THE TUDORS exclaimed, which was basically:  Live & Let Live….don’t get involved.  In those days it was wise in order to keep one’s head literally, today “We Use Our Words”.


Back to Great Words:


Independence!  Fav word.  


Good read:  

Moken people.  Oh my goodness.  These are a culture of nomadic folks who lived on the water allowing children (more than adults) the ability to “SEE” like a dolphin & hold their breath 2xs longer than landbound folks.  Sadly after the 2000 something Thailand tsunami, the Moken have been relocated onto the land, given jobs, homes & help.  The elders are not so happy as they feel just the idea of having to have identification is a direct assault to who they were before the tsunami.  The children are loving up this evolution or change.  They go to school, want more education, not less, enjoy technology never fantasized…cell phones, computers.  


The Three Amigos, Spaceballs & Blazing Saddles types of entertainment are sorely missing from the terrain of movies lately.  Arthur, Good Morning Vietnam, Mrs. Doubtfire & Who Framed Roger Rabbit are examples of movies that took Tutu A away from the worries of the day.  These days Tutu A looks to superb SyFy or Fantasy stories, with drama & laughter.  Guardians of the Galaxy was a departure from the norm and a welcomed relief from many “formula” movies.  Who did not love Bradley Cooper just a little bit more for his rendition of the “squirrel” (or animated character, no need for ego there, he gets the joy of an ensemble cast).  Bradley’s The Hangover was riotous fun.  We need to laugh.  Laughter is the best medicine as are the cries of a newborn baby.  Beautiful noises.  We need more good & beautiful noises, sounds, words. Share some with someone today.



Appreciation:  A verb.. has action, better than just the word Gratitude?  Be appreciative.